The Stress Relief Emporium

I have an idea for a new business.  It's kind of like a catch all for Good Will rejected donations.  Bring all of your old items that are in disrepair, but you can't stand to see simply thrown away.  Cracked and chipped china?  Wobbly stained wooden furniture?  Tube TV too old for replacement parts? We'll take it all!  It will artfully be displayed on rows of shelves and tables.  At the door patrons may select from an array of baseball bats, hockey sticks, golf clubs or bring their own favorite devices.  They will pay $5 per time allotment to peruse the merchandise and as they see fit... smash that shit to smithereens.  I'll call it "The Stress Relief Emporium".  It might look a lot like this:

That's the kind of day that I'm having.  I'm frustrated with myself and just want to go on an angry tirade.  But I decided this would be less violent and maybe more therapeutic.  I found an open Masters' position, and I'm considering applying to it.  I'm sure I would be a good candidate, but when I tried to start a Statement of Interest today, I got myself all worked up with self-doubt (story of my life).  The advertisement was for a plant ecology lab at Florida Atlantic University.  Some of their research investigates fire responses of peat ecosystems in the Everglades.  I'm just starting to learn about some of these things now in the the UF Fire Lab, but I have no idea how I'm going to connect the rest of my past in my application.

I have a template from my last application, but if I modify it, I feel like it would sound something like this:  Hi, my name is Michelle.  The majority of my work has been in freshwater ecosystems, and I'm super excited about coastal ecology. I work in a Fire lab now, but have little idea what the hell I'm doing.  Which is why you should totally let me come work for you, because wetlands and fire are kind of cool too, right?

Sometimes I wish my ego matched my qualifications.  I'm pretty sure I would be unstoppable.  More often than not, I second guess myself and over-analyze every decision.  I guess I'm scared of failing, rejection, or taking the wrong path.  Take your pick.  But the truth is that my background is one filled with diverse experience.  I'm sure there's a way to highlight the ones relevant to this position.  Feeling stuck in this rut is getting old.  I need to calm the fuck down, get over myself, and send the fucking application.  And most importantly, KEEP LOOKING.  I'll get it right one of these days.

And now I'm gonna go make tacos then pretend to care about football for one day of the year.  Go Teams!