February Foodie Pen Pals

Last fall I somehow stumbled across Foodie Pen Pals.  Lindsay, author of The Lean Green Bean blog started organizing food swaps between people about a year ago and its grown into a really cool program.  She pairs participants with each other and you send a box with $15 worth of food items to the other person.  I did it once when I was still in Michigan, and this month was my first time since I've moved to Florida.

I received my package from Deb from Delaware.  I didn't give her much direction as far as preferences, and she sent me a box jam packed with snacks from a local Amish store. Check it out!:

Look at all these tasty treats!

She included two bags of frosted pretzels, which happen to be one of my favorite snacks. They did not last long in this apartment.  There were two types of granola bars which were both great.  The Lemon Cranberry had a really bright flavor, and I hope that I can find more of them somewhere down here. One container of trail mix had naked raisins AND chocolate covered raisins with M&Ms, peanuts and almonds.  Hell yes.  The other container is a crunchy Asian snack mix that I'm finding mildly addictive.  Deb also sent a container of veggie dip mix.  I haven't tried it yet, but pita chips are on my grocery list now.  And I have big plans involving that BBQ sauce and some ribs this weekend.  Thanks for everything, Deb!!

I got paired with someone different to send a package.  You can read what I picked out for Ashley from Iowa at her blog: The Preppy Runner

I think this program is lots of fun.  Its a great way to connect with other people and try new foods that I probably wouldn't find otherwise.  If you're interested in joining, check out the button below for the full details!

Spectacular Chaos

I think I've felt a little uninspired to blog lately.  For a while I felt insightful about exploring Gainesville, new experiences, and life in general.  But this past week or so, any time I try to write it just sounds like rambling garbage with no point.  Today I finally felt like I had something to say, but I hated everything that ended up on my screen.  Maybe I was trying too hard to craft an eloquent analogy for how I'm feeling.  I said I would do the opposite when I started this blog though.  Lets see if I can get out of my head and purge this word vomit.

A thunderstorm rolled through tonight, and I thought about it as a metaphor for life.  Storms form in unstable atmospheric conditions.  Warm, moist air rises. Then as it cools, it sinks again, warms at the surface, and starts the cycle over.  The unstable convective air can produce torrential rains, gusty winds, hail, lightning.  Sometimes its a violent combination.  However, tonight I listened to the rain outside my window and felt a brief sense of calm.  The intervals of low rumbling thunder massaged my central nervous system.  I only wished my apartment had better views of the lightning.

Until the end of 2011, my life had forward momentum.  I went to school, graduated college, and found a summer job that turned into a full time job.  I thought I would be able to leave on my terms when I got into grad school to pursue my own interests.  That's not how it worked out though.  The last year I've found myself bouncing between temporary positions, not out of desire but out of necessity.  Then this graduate opening came up, so I finally got an application together and actually had an interview last week.  Now I'm making myself sick over deciding whether it's really what I want or if I should just settle since it's the only opportunity on my radar. (I don't even know if he's going to offer me the position yet.)

I don't like the instability in my life.  Not knowing where I'll be six months from now wreaks havoc on my emotions.  Sometimes thinking about all of my bouncing around in 2012 actually makes me cringe. There were some good things that came from that unstable year though.  I have to remind myself that they weren't steps back but lateral moves.  Its really hard to convince myself of that sometimes, but I suppose each one helped me in at least a small way.

Today was not one of my better days.  I severely lacked motivation to do a lot of the things I planned to do.  The storm was a little reminder though that some spectacular things can come from unstable conditions.  The hard part is convincing myself of that more often.

A Quiet Path In a Bustling Campus

Of all the places that I've lived, Gainesville is probably the most densely populated.  It's hard to find a quiet place where I can be alone and think.  After a meeting on campus this afternoon, I had some time to kill before Wine, Wenches, and Wrenches. I didn't have enough time to run home, and almost went back to work for a while. Then I remembered a small trail on campus and decided to take a walk.  A boardwalk crosses a small marsh that UF built for storm water treatment.  Instead of simply digging a retention pond, this swamp is engineered to naturally remove pollutants.  Although its a short trail through the middle of campus, it's quiet and feels secluded.  It was perfect for a brief stroll on this warm afternoon.

Lately I've been stressed about making career decisions.  Some people find prayer helpful in these situations, but I've never found comfort trying to talk to a being that I don't really believe is listening. For me taking a walk in nature is more spiritual than sitting in a church will ever feel.  My walk didn't answer any questions and only lasted twenty minutes.  However, it helped calm my psyche.  I need to remember to escape more often, even if only for a short time.

"Do Your Best and Forget The Rest"

I haven't been sleeping well again lately.  My brain seems to be going a mile a minute, and I struggle to shut it down.  Nothing important or stressful bothers me at night though.  Sometimes its just random thoughts or even songs that I can't silence.  Whatever the reason, last night was one of the worst nights.  I only slept for about three hours total.  When I got home from work, I finally crashed on the couch and didn't think I would be able to get up.

But I knew I had to work out.  Samantha and I started P90X after Christmas break, and it's been going well.  We've made it farther than I ever have on my own.  Today, I'm not sure I would have found the motivation if Samantha hadn't been there.  But the buddy system is powerful.  Knowing she was going to work out too was enough to get me off the couch and change my clothes.  I'm so glad that I did.

I sluggishly started today's Back and Biceps work out.  Eventually, exercising awakened my body and mind, and it turned out to be one of my best work outs thus far.  I felt energized and even a little silly by the end.  When it came time for Ab Ripper X, I kicked my focus into high gear.  Today was the first time since restarting P90X that I completed every single one of the 349 ab/core moves.  I felt proud for pushing myself when I really didn't feel up to moving.  I pushed the junk out of my mind to focus on what I needed to and knew I could accomplish.  Like Tony Horton always says, "Do your best, and forget the rest."  Hopefully, working out so hard today will help me sleep well tonight.


P.S. Hawks are back in the United Center tonight!  Time to reward myself with some hockey!!!

Women On Two Wheels

Driving in Gainesville frustrates me. No matter where I go there seem to be too many cars for to little roadway and too few parking spaces. As an alternative I started riding my bike more, and I love it. Except for my first week of work when I was still getting my bearings, I've ridden my bike to campus every day. Now I ride my bike almost everywhere I want to go since most places in town are so close to my apartment. Ever since I turned sixteen, my car has been a symbol of my independence. But now biking has given me a different sense of freedom that I really enjoy.

I had heard that there is an extensive network of trails in Gainesville too but wasn't sure how to access them.  This weekend my friend Marissa invited me on a ride of some local trails.  Her sister, Lauren organizes the Gainesville chapter of Velo Vixens, a biking group for women.  The group is particularly welcoming and supportive to beginners like me.

At 10:00 AM on Sunday, we met at Lauren's house, which is only 1.3 miles from my apartment.  Five of us with varying levels of experience rolled out across town with a sixth meeting us at a later leg.  I had so much fun riding trails though pine forests and grasses and even under I-75.  I had driven past a few of the parks before and had no idea the bike trails ran through them...right in the middle of town!  They are truly a hidden treasure that I was excited to discover.

Our 21.26 mile route!

Not so surprisingly to anyone familiar with my klutziness, I even got my first wreck out of the way. And in spectacular fashion none the less.  We came to a narrow bridge about four feet above a creek. I was a little nervous, but decided to go for it.  Halfway across the bridge I drifted to far to the side and couldn't recover.  Both my bike and myself ended up in the creek.  After I assured my fellow bikers that I was fine (aside from a few scrapes and a GNARLY bruise that later appeared on my side), they raved over what a badass wreck it was.  I had officially been initiated into the group.

The only thing left was to get back on my bike and keep peddling.  Later, I realized that subconsciously I never thought I was going to make it and ultimately resolved to fall before I even hit the bridge.  Having the confidence is the important part.  I need to trust my equipment and trust myself.  And maybe practice on the ramps at Lauren's house a little more. ;)

Scrapes, bruises, and all, it was a fantastic day.  I made some great friends, and I can't wait to ride with them again!

Our Crew Before Roll-out: Laura, Lauren, Sherry, Marissa, me, Christine, and Roo in front!
(Photo courtesy of Lauren Streifel)

A Delightfully Peculiar Book

Last night I finished reading Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs.  My mom sent it to me when she finished it and gave me little input other than it was a good read if a little weird.  I dove in with few expectations and was pleasantly surprised.

Jacob, the protagonist, is a relatable sixteen-year-old filled with suburban angst.  During his childhood, his grandfather frequently tells curious stories accompanied by strange photographs.  But when Jacob grows older, he begins to question the validity of these stories until he finally asserts that they must be fairy tales. Shortly after, he witnesses the brutal murder of his grandfather, whose cryptic final words drive Jacob to seek the truth about his past.  A trail of clues leads Jacob to the home where his grandfather took refuge during World War II, and he discovers that maybe those outlandish yarns weren't so fictitious after all.

The most intriguing part of this book is the collection of black and white photographs scattered throughout the pages.  The photos were selected from private collectors who scavenge flea markets and antique stores, rescuing old unique images.  Most of them feature subjects with strange props and costumes or were manipulated with dark room tricks and optical allusions.  Others simply have an eerie allure.  The author actually wrote the novel around these pictures.  You might think this would make parts of the story feel forced, but they are incorporated seamlessly.

The back of the book jacket featuring a few of the pictures

I love this book, and I think it would offer something to almost anyone.  It's light but emotional at times, present with historical references, and believable with just enough science fiction peppered in to make it interesting.  I didn't want to reveal too much because I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a great easy read.  If you pick it up, I would love to hear what you think of it!

I'm out of books here now.  I guess its time to start putting my new Gainesville library card to good use.  Let me know if you have any suggestions!

Banana Muffin Fail

Today, something strange happened.  I experienced a baking systems failure.  The majority of my baking experimentation produces something of the "intoxicatingly" marvelous.  Not today.  I found this recipe for Banana Bread Protein Muffins online, and I thought it sounded like a tasty, carb-satiating way to add a little more protein to snack time.  Unfortunately, I was less than impressed with the result.  They looked great when I opened the oven but deflated IMMEDIATELY.  What the hell?  And the center was done but dense and mushy, far from the fluffy muffin I had imagined.

Droopy muffins....

.... with a dense center.

My roommate and I split the first one.  I can't say that I'm a fan.  Samantha liked them though (which is great because she has 11 more to look forward to!).  Really, their flavor is good, but for me, the texture leaves much to be desired.  I haven't entirely given up hope on this recipe yet.  Here are my three hypotheses of what went wrong:

1) I used the wrong oats.  The recipe called for oats instead of flour, and the whole batter gets processed in the bender. We only had steel-cut oats in the kitchen, which I don't know much about.  Maybe rolled oats would keep a better structure.

2) My banana was too ripe.  I used a brown banana that Samantha had stashed in the freezer for such an occasion.  When thawed, it was almost too soft to handle.  Maybe a fresher, slightly less ripe banana would prevent the dense texture.

3) This recipe is crap.  There is a fundamental flaw somewhere in the methods and materials as described by the author.  Maybe I should just stick to drunken cupcakes.

I'll probably give this recipe another go at some point, but all in all, the batch I have is edible.  Samantha and I joked that the divot on top will make a good vessel for peanut butter.  Peanut butter always makes life better.

The Stress Relief Emporium

I have an idea for a new business.  It's kind of like a catch all for Good Will rejected donations.  Bring all of your old items that are in disrepair, but you can't stand to see simply thrown away.  Cracked and chipped china?  Wobbly stained wooden furniture?  Tube TV too old for replacement parts? We'll take it all!  It will artfully be displayed on rows of shelves and tables.  At the door patrons may select from an array of baseball bats, hockey sticks, golf clubs or bring their own favorite devices.  They will pay $5 per time allotment to peruse the merchandise and as they see fit... smash that shit to smithereens.  I'll call it "The Stress Relief Emporium".  It might look a lot like this:

That's the kind of day that I'm having.  I'm frustrated with myself and just want to go on an angry tirade.  But I decided this would be less violent and maybe more therapeutic.  I found an open Masters' position, and I'm considering applying to it.  I'm sure I would be a good candidate, but when I tried to start a Statement of Interest today, I got myself all worked up with self-doubt (story of my life).  The advertisement was for a plant ecology lab at Florida Atlantic University.  Some of their research investigates fire responses of peat ecosystems in the Everglades.  I'm just starting to learn about some of these things now in the the UF Fire Lab, but I have no idea how I'm going to connect the rest of my past in my application.

I have a template from my last application, but if I modify it, I feel like it would sound something like this:  Hi, my name is Michelle.  The majority of my work has been in freshwater ecosystems, and I'm super excited about coastal ecology. I work in a Fire lab now, but have little idea what the hell I'm doing.  Which is why you should totally let me come work for you, because wetlands and fire are kind of cool too, right?

Sometimes I wish my ego matched my qualifications.  I'm pretty sure I would be unstoppable.  More often than not, I second guess myself and over-analyze every decision.  I guess I'm scared of failing, rejection, or taking the wrong path.  Take your pick.  But the truth is that my background is one filled with diverse experience.  I'm sure there's a way to highlight the ones relevant to this position.  Feeling stuck in this rut is getting old.  I need to calm the fuck down, get over myself, and send the fucking application.  And most importantly, KEEP LOOKING.  I'll get it right one of these days.

And now I'm gonna go make tacos then pretend to care about football for one day of the year.  Go Teams!