Traveling At 30,000 Feet

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your author typing.  Good evening and welcome aboard this google-hosted Blogcraft.  We’d like you to take a moment and familiarize yourself with the following description of a typical day in airline travel.  Thank you for choosing our blog, and we hope you enjoy your read. 

Your journey back to Gainesville begins at Chicago Midway.  Since Midway is a busy airport, we ask that you print all boarding passes before arriving and avoid the check-in line all together.  Proceed to security and remove your shoes, jacket, clear ziplock bag of 4 oz liquids, and laptop computer like a boss.  Step into the full-body scanner, raise your arms, and give your best Clint Eastwood face.  Once you have ensured TSA that you have no firearms, explosives, chemical weapons, or illegal narcotics on your person, gather your belongings and locate your departure terminal.

Waiting areas are available for your convenience until your flight begins to board.  Each waiting area is equipped with “that person” who may or may not be flying for the first time. He or she will be overly concerned with every aspect of air travel including, but not limited to: PA announcements that don’t apply to her, whether her digital iPad tickets will work, why people are already lining up to board, if they and their luggage will all fit on the aircraft, and making generally annoying comments.  For your own sanity, we ask that you avoid this person at all costs.

You may notice an increase in noise level on this aircraft if most of your previous flights have departed during the morning hours. Passengers can be more alert at chatty in the afternoon and early evening.  Our outgoing passengers will use this opportunity to bond with the person next to them for the duration of this flight.  However, we’d like to remind our more introverted passengers who prefer quiet flights that fashioning a noose from oxygen mask straps is strongly discouraged.   Instead, insert your earbuds and commence “Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me” podcasts when we allow the use of approved electronic devices.

Both of your flights today include complimentary beverage service.  Your choices are listed in the images below.

Also goes well with our damn delicious Biscoff cookies

Upon arrival in Atlanta, take a moment to locate your connecting flight terminal, which is as far from your current terminal as possible.  Stay calm. Your 2.5-hour layover gives you ample time to navigate the airport.  You may also use this time to refill your water bottle, eat the dinner you packed, and draft blog posts on you laptop.

By this time, your flight will be delayed for unknown reasons.  You can now listen to the Blackhawks game on your WGN Radio app.  As a reminder, you’ll need to contact your roommate once you reach your final destination, and apps eat battery power like a fat kid at a buffet.  You may use the one of the power stations located near your terminal to keep your electronics fully charged.

Once we begin boarding the late flight back to Gainesville, passengers will be quieter.  It should make for an easy, quick trip.  Estimated arrival is 11:30 PM local time.  It should give you plenty of time to repack and get a few hours of sleep before catching the field work shuttle at 5:45 in the morning.  We'll begin our decent to the end of this blog post shortly.  Please return your laptop screens to their upright positions and stow yourself securely under the covers.  From all of us here at The Quarter-life Chronicles, thanks for reading, and we hope you have a great day.