Hard Decisions Worth Making

After my mental block a couple months ago, I finally contacted the professor at Florida Atlantic University, had a successful phone interview with him, and applied to the Environmental Science Program.  On Saturday, I found an acceptance letter in my mailbox!  I felt excited, but as I read further, the feeling slowly changed to anxiety.  The letter requested that I confirm my decision by April 5, less than a week away.

I began to panic.  I have so many questions left!  I haven't met my future advisor, his other graduate students, or even stepped foot on the campus!  How could I possibly make this decision by Friday?!  After sharing the news with my mom (of course she was the first person I called!), I knew I needed to call one more person.  Chris, my friend, mentor, and former boss at Notre Dame, has influenced my professional growth more than anyone else.  I absolutely needed his guidance now.

I left Chris one spaztastic voicemail, then wrote him a slightly more coherent email with my concerns.  I hit send and curled into the fetal position on my bed feeling completely debilitated.  I was terrified of making the wrong decision based on incomplete data.  And I felt that I had next to no time left for more research.  Eventually, I fell asleep for a bit.  Chris had replied by the time I awoke, and it was perfect.

" Go have a drink
Know that we are going to talk tomorrow or Monday
Have another drink
...
Have another drink and start making a list of questions
Go to bed, get up tomorrow and go for a long walk, then have a breakfast drink.
Yup. Lots to think about.  You will make this decision by the 5th. Congratulations on having an option!"

It's amazing the calming effect these words had on me (or maybe it was the rum).  In the mean time, I contacted my advisor to try setting up a meeting.  After some back and forth, he let me know that even though the deadline is April 5th, my decision isn't binding.  This gave us more flexibility to find the best time for my visit.  Chris and I finally got a chance to talk today.  We went over what questions I need to ask and how to ask them.  And he told me how proud and excited he is for me. And that I'm ready for this.  They were mostly things that I knew but easily forget.  It is always uplifting to hear them out loud.

Now that I feel less pressured about making a decision so soon, I'm more relaxed and excited about visiting FAU next week.  I'm thankful that I have people like Chris in my life whose guidance I trust.  I still have uncertainties that I need to overcome, but life's hardest decisions are the most important ones.

Kara's Super Spontaneous Visit

In a delightfully unexpected turn of events, my friend Kara came to visit last week!  She had originally planned on coming in early April.  But this week lined up with her work better.  Sunday she messaged Sam and told her she would be flying in... Monday night! What?!  The three of us went to college together and it was fun little reunion.

I hadn't seen Kara in probably about three years.  Since my schedule is so flexible right now, I was able to rearrange my week and spend a lot of time with her.  Kara has clear goals when she travels: to get "the history, the culture, and the nature." And I think we did a pretty good job of finding all those things.  After working Tuesday morning, I met her at the Florida Natural History Museum on campus.  We finished exploring, then walked across to the Art Museum.  Both museums are fantastic, and they're free!!  We grabbed lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon geocaching while waiting for Samantha to finish work.  It's been a while since I've been 'caching.  Searching is so much more enjoyable when I go with someone else.  And we got into some pretty interesting places...

...like this truck!

"Where is it?!" (we eventually found it :D ) 

On Wednesday, Sam was able to take a half day off work, and the three of us took a trip to St. Augustine, the U.S.'s oldest city.  After a delicious lunch at the Floridian, we spent the afternoon wandering around some shops and eventually made it to Castillo de San Marcos.  This oldest stone fort was originally built during Spanish occupation of Florida. It was traded back and forth of British rule. Then the United States gained control when Spain sold Florida to the U.S.  Historic sites like this are always fun to explore, but Kara added a new level of excitement shouting, "The British are coming!!" from the top of the walls.

Vantage point atop the fort

We wandered around after the fort closed, eventually finding ourselves on the beach listening to the breaking waves of the Atlantic Ocean.  I miss being so close to a large body of water and was just a little sad when we started our drive back to Gainesville.

Thursday, Kara and I set out on a day hike in Ocala National Forest.  The ranger station recommended The Yearling Trail.  This six mile loop winds though the land where the Long family build their homesteads in the mid 1850's.  Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings also spent some time here, and her visits inspired her book The Yearling.  The movie adaptation was later filmed on site.  Neither Kara nor I have read the book or watched the movie, but after hiking the trail, we both intend to do so.  Historic spots mark the trail including the family cemetery.  This is the first time that I've seen coins on top of gravestones.  I looked it up, and it seems to carry the same superstition as tossing coins into a fountain.  Who knew?

Coins on top of the Long family gravestones

Halfway through the trail, we found the perfect lunch spot in a dry fen.  We sat under a beautiful sunny sky, enjoying our lunch and a couple beers.  Kara liked the spot so much that she left her phone there so we would have to hike back! 

The view from our lunch spot

We drove back to Gainesville in time to grab Sam and head to dinner at Satchels, an eclectic pizza place.  Unfortunately, Kara had to leave early Friday morning.  All three of us wished she could have stayed longer, especially so Sam could have spent more time with us.  I'm so glad that she could visit at all though.  Kara has such a light-hearted, fun-loving nature.  I think her visit came at the perfect time.  We had a fantastic week, and I was able to forget a lot of the things that have been stressful and just be silly for a while.  We're both stumbling through different life decisions, but I think she has a really good mantra: do what you love, and things will fall into place.  I'm thankful to have a friend that can remind me of that, and I hope that I get to see her again soon.

Hot Damn! I Burned A Forest.

Today was an awesome day.  The sun was shining, the weather was mild, and I had my first experience starting a forest on fire.  I know, I know... Smokey Bear said that only I can Prevent forest fires.  But guess what, kids.  Smokey was a little overzealous in his fire-prevention campaign.  Forests are adapted to fire.  It returns nutrients to the soil, clears undesired species, and prevents and even larger fuel load from accumulating.  The lab where I now work studies these adaptations, and I'm sitting in on my boss's Fire Behavior class.

Today was our first burn at Austin Cary Memorial Forest, a teaching forest near Gainesville.  The fire started with a test spot near the corner and a go-ahead to ignite the perimeter.  I watched the flames slowly char the grasses near the road and smolder inward.  I expected something much more spectacular, but this plot is burned annually and I figured there weren't as many fuels.  Working around the corner along the south border we started a flanking fire running parallel with the wind.  Still, the plot burned slowly.  Then, the wind shifted direction and the fire roared towards the center of the block.    The flames intensified, gallberry shrubs crackled as they burned, and even the papery bark of a few longleaf pines glowed a bright orange.  Standing forty feet away, I could feel the heat radiating from the head fire.

For a closeted pyro like me, It was an exciting day.  I even got a turn with the drip torch to ignite the head fire.  Needless to say, I came home smelling like a chimney. I hope I didn't offend anyone sitting near me at the PEERs meeting! (But that's another story for another day.) Below are a few pictures from the burn.

We have ignition!

Creeping towards the palmettos 

Head fire flares just as the wind shifts 

Flames swirl around the base of a Longleaf pine

The burn progresses along the fire break